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2004-10-01 - 8:14 p.m.
charity
ok, so today the place where i work was taking part in some charity thing where people wear their jeans to work and make a donation* to the charity. the * is a work thing that means that you do not have to give them money but if you do not you will probably by fired or beaten up by the big woman in accounts or something. still, i do not think it is necessarily a bad thing (not all charities waste all their money on advertising and director salaries) so i paid the money and just wore my normal work trousers to the office. i am not too interested in clothes or being like everyone else so it was the best option, i think.
anyway, the jeans i normally wear when i am doing things in the real world are sort of torn and burnt and faded and smell like a mule and i do not think it is what the boss had in mind. also, if i wore my ok looking jeans with compulsory smart shoes and shirt on the underground i would probably be mistaken for a private school educated rich boy. it is a situation that would quickly lead to me being mugged. i do not have an ipod or anything else worth stealing, but if they took recyclebot it would be very sad. he is too small to get home on his own.
yesterday i was going home on the underground when the station people decided to stuff as many people as they could onto a single subway train. it is maybe good for relieving underground boredom but it is not too great for passengers. i think there is probably a law about packing too much livestock into lorries but maybe it does not apply to humans. anyway, i managed to maneuver myself over to the emergency door window before the people stacking began which was pretty lucky because i was immediately trapped against the side by a giant man with too many human dirt vapours. i hope he was a builder or electrician or something because he sort of smelled of solder, but that is not too important.
anyway, being by the window meant that i could sort of get away from the smells but i was still pretty unhappy until i remembered that i was carrying recyclebot with me. i usually keep him around because he is small enough for espionage or stealing or something and also he is a robot so he cannot be locked up by the fuzz. i took him out of my bag and quietly dropped him on the floor so that he could get to work entangling the man's shoe laces with those of the guy standing by the exit. then he got back in my bag and we surveyed the damage.
ok, so when the train got to the next station the man by the door got off the train and in doing so pulled the smell man out of his position. the result was like in kerplunk where one marble is dislodged and all the rest end up moving a little bit. all the people in the train ended up rearranging themselves just enough so that i was standing next to someone different. i trusted it to luck whether or not they would be more fragrant. there is no problem so smelly that it cannot be solved by a two inch tall plastic robot, i think.
paul.
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