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2004-08-19 - 6:45 p.m.

the hole

ok, so too many of my recent entries have been about loud builders but this could be the last because i think they are maybe all buried under my neighbour's lawn. it is like in the film traffic where those guys have to dig their own graves. here is what happened:

first of all, the builders who are making my neighbour's extension started to dig an enormous hole in the garden. their house does not have a big garden anyway but the hole took up half the space on it's own. since i do not speak to my neighbours anymore after an ... er ... incident i could not ask them so i just ignored it all. i thought that if they were ostentatious enough to have a big extension then maybe they were getting running water installed in the garden shed and the hole was for pipes but the hole was so big that they could have laid pipes for water and gas and electricity and liquid nitrogen and milk and anything else they wanted.

anyway, now when i look out my window i can see that the hole has been filled in but there is still a huge pile of earth in the garden. using brain powers i deduced that something must have been buried in the hole and suspiciously i haven't seen the builders around either. it seems that i am now a witness to a multiple homicide - it is a punishment for spying on asshole neighbours. the only other feasible conclusion i can come up with is that the neighbours stole a dinosaur from the natural history museum or maybe a car or something more reasonable and buried it until the coast is clear.

there is nothing worse than not knowing whether your neighbours are killing loud workmen without telling you. it is bad for community spirit or something so i am sending recyclebot around later dressed as a window salesman so he can scope the joint and maybe bring back some stolen goods for me.

CRIMINAL NEIGHBOURS, THE TRUTH WILL OUT.

paul.

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