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2004-03-29 - 6:44 p.m.
toilet humour
first of all, i have almost run out of banners with which to advertise my diaryland site. it is not a tragedy but if the people who come regularly do not keep doing so even when they cannot see my oscilloscope banner then this place will die on its arse (it is british for bad things happening). just remember that a fairy dies every time a diaryland user stops updating their site so if you sort of like reading this stuff then tell other people about me and you will be rewarded (i will think of something good if you tell me about what you have done).
anyway, this all sounds sort of depressing and if you are a regular then you know that i am trying to stamp out unhappy things on the internet in my springtime campaign for happy internet. to compensate it is time for some toilet humour. i do not mean fart jokes or jokes about how funny swearing is when you are a dumbass with no language skills, i am literally talking about my toilet. i have a syphon toilet in my place and it is supposed to get blocked less than an ordinary toilet but IT IS A LIE. the flush is really weak so it is easy to back the toilet up with things you do not want to hear about and then you are left with a disgusting mess.
so yesterday the toilet was blocked and it really smelled bad. i guess it is no wonder that i have a mouse problem here when i do not have good hygiene. this was a problem that can normally be solved by leaving the house for a few hours but this time my uncle and brother and sister-in-law and little niece were all coming over so i had to solve the problem quickly. ok, the details are not nice so i will just say that i managed to sort things out with about half an hour to spare.
a bit later i was sitting around with my uncle and my dad who was there too and i mentioned that i had cleared the blockage and that syphon toilets are not good (i do not have too much to really talk to older men about because they do not understand things like music or drawing pictures or anything.) ok, so the conversation then went sort of like this: me = "blah, blah, blah", uncle = "blah, blah, blah", dad = "i suppose they just cannot take a big turd". speech ends and i look at my uncle and he looks at me and then we both burst out laughing and keep going for about two solid minutes until we have tears in our eyes and manage to calm down. i do not think there is anything else to say after a line like that, especially when it comes from a man in his fifties with practically no sense of humour (and an english accent obviously). it is pretty purile and you had to be there but for a moment the world was a happy place.
ok, this entry is not too great. i will do better on wednesday.
paul.
p.s. see my wobbly drawings at www.pixelbee.co.uk
p.p.s. here is a bonus link that i found on sunday. it is a song by the late elliott smith that is not on any of his albums and it is good too. right click here and then go to save target as (or whatever it is in your browser). it is a 2MB mp3.
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