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2004-09-04 - 9:50 a.m.

fat

ok, so i have accidentally lost a little bit of weight recently because i have not been eating very much but i have still been walking around a lot. i do not know if anyone has ever thought of going on a diet of less food eating and more exercise but it seems to work - even though it is not named after a quack doctor or endorsed by famous people who are already emaciated and do not need to go on a diet anyway. if you want to try out this new miracle cure for fatness you should send me lots of money and then i will send you no food through the post GUARANTEED*.

anyway, it is not good for me to be losing too much weight because i am already at the bottom of my recommended weight band (it is not that i am boasting to fat americans or anything, i am merely stating the fact that i have indie proportions or something) but it was initially making me feel better to be lighter even with the inconvenience of having to use a belt to keep my clothes up. however, by not eating much i had a problem of too much food in the fridge and i did not want excess dairy products lying around and stinking up the joint so last night i ate a whole load of fridge foods.

my recent fasting must have weakened my body systems a bit because after a couple of hours of digestion i suddenly got bad stomach problems with noises and movements and other nasty things. i do not know whether it was the mouldy cheese or out of date yoghurt or coleslaw but i was not feeling too great, even though it is not good to waste food because of starving children and etc.

i think the moral of the story is that your parents were wrong. it is probably not practical to send the food you do not want to africa because by the time it gets there it will be bad and they will get stomach problems too - even if the food is all still refrigerated.

paul.

p.s. if you are looking to lose weight (or just not get fatter) another good tip is instead of drinking your excess cooking fat or whatever you do, you should put it on a slice of bread and leave it out for the birds. they are our feathered friends and the fat is good for them with winter approaching.

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