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2004-11-27 - 10:39 a.m.
fox news
two days ago it was thursday. it is a fact that maybe did not escape you but anyway, thursday is the day the trash eaters come around my way. it is not a clever descriptive term for garbage men with garbage trucks that "eat" trash; it is a literal phrase:
ok, so we all put out our rubbish on wednesday evening as the garbage men come early on thursday morning and nobody wants to have to take out the trash on their way to work because of stink fingers. it means that the bags of rotting waste are sitting out all night for the local foxes to run riot with. it is maybe typical for foxes (or raccoons if you are north american) to rip open the bags and eat the food but as i went out at sunrise it looked as if there had been a garbage explosion. the foxes had strategically deposited nasty presents under the fallen leaves, there were discarded nappies (diapers) in gardens and fish parts on cars and if my neighbour thought that he could just throw out his old, stained undercrackers without anyone noticing then he was mistaken. it is maybe the start of a fox rebellion, i think.
it is all too easy to underestimate the intelligence of city foxes because of the human superiority complex or something. but what do you think is going on in the city libraries when everyone goes home at night? the answer is fox learning. perhaps they are breaking in and learning how to follow our waste patterns and then counter-attack with seemingly random but perfectly executed trash scattering. it is the only logical conclusion, i think.
anyway, i think last weeks fox hunting ban in england has not come a moment too soon - hopefully they will read about it in the paper and consider it to be a peace treaty. on reflection it is maybe a good thing that we have not been hunting too many squirrels recently - foxes are sort of manageable because they are pretty big but a squirrel can reach the spots that most creatures could not dream of targetting.
VIVE LA R�VOLUTION.
paul.
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