current entry
archive
diaryland

email:
[email protected]

and my drawing website:
pixelbee.co.uk

2004-07-23 - 7:02 p.m.

what the ... ?

cough, i have banners again. i thought that as long as i am starting to write stuff again then i might as well get some new banners while the american economy is still crap and i get more dollars for my euro-phobic british pound. anyway, it was not as easy as that because diaryland couldn't get there arses in gear to update my account. i kept sending them emails telling them off but i had to keep rewriting them because i did not know whether the help people would understand when i used england-english instead of american-english. for example, would they know what i meant if i told them to pull their finger out?

still it is all fixed now and apologies have been made and accepted so i can go back to making my banners as obscure as i can to see how many people will be so intrigued that they have to find out what it is and then ... BAM ... they will find out that it's the same old bumf that exists on everyone elses diaryland pages (except no depressing stuff or lists of what i ate for breakfast or whatever - see entry #11). sorry, that sentence was much too long. it is a bit like the um-bongo song that you have to sing in one breath only without the hippos or apricots or pythons.

ok, so last weekend i discovered that the things i make have been pretty surreal for a long time. i found a letter that i had written when i was ten and it looks like we had to write an example letter of complaint in school because we have to keep up our english stereotype. anyway, i had written a letter to a fictional restaurant that started off with the usual stuff, you know: cold food, bad service or whatever. then, out of nowhere, the stuff i was complaining about got really weird until at the end i had written that there was a dog sitting in the kitchen and the waiter had sat in the salad and then exploded.

i also found a monster menu i had made, i.e. a menu of things that monsters would like to eat. one of the starters was a beetle on a piece of toilet paper. unfortunately, conservative teachers usually stifle this sort of creativity and that's why i don't think i could come up with something as inspired as that today. it is a sad tale but not depressing so do not complain to me unless you develop a pathological fear of toilet paper because of beetle connotations.

now i am almost warmed up.

paul.

previous - next