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2004-05-02 - 12:22 p.m.
teletext
ok, so here in britain we have a thing called teletext. i do not know if you have something similar where you live but it is like a crap version of the internet that is broadcast with the tv signal. there is a button on the tv remote control that you press and then the screen switches to text and you can read news stories and reviews and sports things and general stuff like that. this is not the same as interactive digital tv - teletext has been going on for twenty years or so i guess. the best thing about teletext is that it can only show ascii characters (it is computer speak for text) so if the broadcasters want to show pictures they have to make them from blocks and letters so they are ultra-pixelly and retro.
anyway, i spend a lot of time reading the teletext pages because there is lots of up-to-date information and it is completely free unlike the internet. currently, the best page is 577 on the bbc channels. it is like a chatroom where retarded kids send in messages using their cellphones and it is unintentionally hilarious because people post open ended messages that make themselves look like idiots. i just wish that the editor would make sarcastic comments after each one. for example, on thursday someone posted a short message that said something like:
"is anyone thinking of going to party in the park this year?"
(it is a crappy music festival here) and i was just wishing that the editor had written:
"no, you are the only person who is going. when you get there the field will be empty and the photographers will take pictures of you for the papers and everyone will laugh because you were the only one there and you looked so stupid dancing to the fecking stereophonics on your own."
ok, that would be pretty harsh and it is a bit long for a snappy retort. the only other stupid comment that really sticks in my mind is when someone who had just seen the trailer for spiderman 2 wrote something like:
"the makers of spiderman made a big mistake. they only gave doctor octopus four extra arms so he does not have eight in total like an octopus."
as far as i know, nobody corrected him. i guess they just laughed and moved on.
still, the best ever thing on teletext was the digitiser pages that used to be on broadcast with channel 4. it was supposed to be a set of pages about video games but instead the editors would write things about how they were all drunk on gin and then they drew pictures of mr t and snakes and things. you can get a feel for what it was like at this tribute page but it is just not the same.
see you next time, ninja.
paul.
(from www.pixelbee.co.uk)
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