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2004-08-23 - 6:54 p.m.
world record
i have not put up an entry since thursday because nothing has happened to me over the last three days. i normally need at least a spark of reality before i can start writing. unfortunately, this has resulted in a build up of stuff like when you approach the sound barrier and the sound waves start to accumulate until you get a sonic boom and it all comes flooding out in one go.
ok, so that was pretty confusing but what i mean is i have just had a day where things just kept going wrong. everyone has days like that but i think i must have got close to the world record for stupid little "mal-events" in a three hour period this morning. here is what happened:
i woke up having overslept. it does not sound so bad because i still do not have a job to go to yet but if i get more than 8 hours sleep i end up feeling not so good so i was sort of dizzy already. i got out of bed to find that during the night a spider had made a web right over my head so i ended up with sticky spider web all over my face and maybe a spider in my hair. it is lucky i am not scared of spiders - i think they are house friends because they eat lice and things.
ok, so after breakfast i went out to look for adventures as usual but i had only wandered about a quarter of a mile when i stepped on a seriously loose paving slab and dropped like i had been shot. i do not think anyone was looking so it was not so bad. i shook my fist at the paving stone like in an angry cartoon but it did not respond.
literally five minutes later i saw a stone on the pavement and thought it my civic duty to kick it to the side so that an old man would not tread on it and fall over. however, when i kicked it i stopped looking where i was going and ended up bumping into a tree branch at which point it dumped all the rainwater it had collected right on top of me. i shook my fist at the tree but it did not respond either.
by this time i was exhausted from fist shaking but it was ok because nothing else happened until i got into town. anyway, i ended up buying a book to help me do some stuff with my website (do not worry - it is not flashing text or rubbish games or anything) but then i found a magazine in the newsagent that told me how to do the same thing and it was only a quarter of the book price. if it was not so clichéd i would have dropped to my knees and let out a resounding nooooooooooooooooooooo but i was not really too upset.
it was then time to go home for lunch so off i went through the pouring rain (even though i could see blue sky in almost every direction) and it goes without saying that the rain stopped about two minutes before i got home. lunch was ok though so that only makes six things. it is probably not a world record.
WORLD, YOU HAVE BEATEN ME AGAIN + <SHAKES FIST>
paul.
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