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2004-11-09 - 8:57 p.m.
yellowbot
i know i have not written anything for about two weeks but i have had writers block. it is an excuse invented by lazy semi-creative people who cannot be bothered to make anything, i think.
ok, so today started off pretty badly. it is never a good feeling when you have to go to an office to sit around all day pretending to be working but today it was compounded by the security guard on the way into the building. at first i thought that he was the only coworker who is not an asshole - mainly because he does not try to talk to me about selling houses or how much he likes to drink and watch tv or something but today he ruined it for both of us by shouting at me from his hiding place to scare me. i could have just knocked him out right there but as the saying goes: "revenge is a dish best served by setting off all the mousetraps in the building so that security guards have to check and reset every single one of them."
anyway, after i had gone up to my desk and sat and stared out of the window for an hour or so, things were going a bit better but since i still do not have internet (or any work to do) i was soon using brain powers to try to find something interesting to do. then it came to me in a blinding flash of inspiration. i opened the desk draw, took recyclebot out and told him: RECYCLEBOT, IT IS TIME TO GO UP ON THE ROOF. the boss had specifically told me not to go up there on my first day so i knew it must have some secrets that are worth knowing. also, i knew that the security guard was busy with mouse traps so i would not have to worry about video cameras or anything.
ok, so getting up on the roof was easy because there is a stairway that leads up there and the company is too cheap to put a proper lock on the door. it was pretty cold and windy and rainy up there but the roof is completely flat so it was not too bad. as you would expect it was sort of covered with dead birds and things that are maybe not good for messing around with, but way over the other side there was a vent and next to the vent was ......
unbelievable i know, but it was another plastic robot - this time a yellow and black one with spinning arms. it must have been carried up there by a crow or something. the mysteriousness of his appearence is further augmented by the fact that he is copyright 1984 - it is a long time to be waiting up on the roof for a saviour. anyway, after i had cleaned him up a bit in the toilets he looked in pretty good condition so he was welcome to come home with me. it is testimony to the amazing weather resistant properties of cheap robot plastic, i think.
paul.
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