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2004-05-07 - 6:46 p.m.
prehistory?
ok, so i had pretty much written a whole entry about a dream i had a couple of nights ago about being chased by a dinosaur but i have deleted it. when i read it back i realised that i had used terrible english all the way through by repeating the same words over and over again. jesus, it made me look like a moron who cannot even spell thesaurus let alone use one. actually, thesaurus sounds a bit like a dinosaur name so maybe there was some truth to the dream but anyway, the only reason why the dream is interesting is because i can remember exactly what happened when usually i do not know what i was dreaming about at all (also the dinosaur kept changing shape).
instead i am going to write about a tv program i accidentally saw last night. normally i do not watch tv because it causes brain rotting but i turned on the tv to watch the football match and it was not starting for another half hour so i watched a history documentary about chalk carving. i think it is sometimes ok to watch tv programs where i might learn something or at least stimulate neurons rather than making them all link up backwards (which is what usually happens when you see soaps or made for tv movies).
ok, so chalk carving does not sound too interesting but if you live in england then you will probably have seen at least one of them. chalk carvings are not statues - they are huge pictures cut into the hills around the south of england so the hill is all grass but the outline of the picture is white chalk. there are three very famous chalk carvings - one is a horse, one is a man holding two sticks and the other is a man holding a club and he is anatomically correct if you get what i mean (go here to see him). the horse is prehistoric and most people used to believe that the other ones were too but this program showed how the two men are probably only around 400 years old. it turns out that the man with the club and his manhood out is likely to be some sort of political statement about oliver cromwell and how after the civil war he was becoming aroused by the power of ruling england but i think they may have missed the point entirely.
there is a scientific principle called occum's razor which basically states that the simplest answer is usually the most likely to be correct and based on this i have formulated another theory. people in the days of the civil war were probably just as vulgar and moronic as we are today so it makes more sense to me that the ninja who did the carving was taking the piss. he made the picture of cromwell and then drew a big knob on him just like people do in public toilets today. however, because we all believed that the giant was prehistoric and some sort of fertility symbol it ended up in all the history books and has become the acceptable face of england. it is a stroke of pure genius.
and for once there are no lessons to be learned.
paul.
(from www.pixelbee.co.uk)
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