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2004-07-30 - 6:38 p.m.


yesterday i woke up at 5 o'clock - it is a time in the morning most people never see. i was going to get out of bed and look around but i thought better of it. the official getting up time for unemployed people is midday and i was scared that the government would lock me away as a daylight savings terrorist if they caught me being conscious so early. i went back to sleep for a bit.

ok, so when i woke up again it was 7 o'clock. that is a.m. too but it is less weird to be awake at this time because some work people have to be outside already. it was still pretty early in unemployment time but i am not too fat so i do not need much sleep, especially when the sun is already shining, and i thought i could get away with it if i was discreet.

the outside world is pretty different early in the morning and if you live in a city you will notice it more so. it is not just that there are fewer assholes waiting around on the streets to try to talk to you about jesus or gym membership, the smell is totally different too. normally the london pollution means that everywhere smells like car exhaust but when it is early it smells sort of &^%$(*&% .... (sorry, i cannot think of good words to describe smells accurately.)

anyway, it was ok to go outside so i went out. it was sort of cool and fresh like toothpaste commercial breath or something. however, i do not recommend going out so early in the morning because there is nothing much to do in the city. i suppose you could go to the park and do action rolls on the grass while nobody can see you but there might still be people jogging at that time and when they have a coronary it is you who will have to save their big fat asses (probably by administering intravenous doughnut filling or something). it could be pretty nasty so you should maybe remember to take gloves with you.

ok, so the plan was to wander around until i found something interesting because there would be no shops open or people around who are not still drunk from the night before. in reality i only just made it out the front door when i realised that it was recycling day in my area. this means that everyone had put out all their stuff the night before for the recycling men to come and collect and so i just started looking to see what people had put out. as you would imagine it was mostly wine and beer bottles as most people need to numb the pain of their existence but just when i thought that i was wasting my time i saw this ...

it is a little robot. it must have been suicidal to climb into the recycling box as it goes straight to the plastic melting factory i think, although maybe the recycling men just take the stuff and then throw it into the landfill with the rest of the junk. anyway, i took it home and cleaned it up and i am putting it into some sort of councilling program - aghhgahg that sounds like a computer nerd joke but it is just normal language too.

in conclusion, it is good to get up early because not only do you get less pollution and jesus people and new smells but also there are unhappy robots who need your help BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.


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